At times it’s easier. You get so inspired and ride the wave so high you can’t wait till the next run or workout. At times it’s OK, you just go and do it. And then there are times – especially if you’ve skipped a couple of times – when it’s just agony. You just don’t want to do it. “Make me!” you say to your body, but it’s a funny thing – if you don’t make your body move, it most probably won’t. See, it’s the mind that tells the body to get out of your bed or (in my case – more often) to get away from the computer.
This morning it was very hard. I had conscientiously run on Thursday after a grueling weight training on Tuesday, and then we went to the seaside on Friday and spent some three full ours in the waves. We were exhausted, so that counted as a workout. Saturday seemed too hot to run, and I was allowed to slack off – after such a great workout at the seaside! Sunday came and went. I did nothing. I played that old “Morrowind” all day till I got really, physically sick from the constant onscreen motion.
And today I just had no choice. It was quite cool in the morning, so that excuse went down the drain. I hadn’t really moved for two whole days. And I had to get back in the habit of running at the very least three days a week. Just to keep my weight steady – just not to gain.
As I ran, I saw a tiny little grass-snake flattened against the gravel. I was on the first leg of my run and didn’t want to slow down, so I decided to take a picture on my way back, since I got obsessed with the idea that – had the snake moved faster, it would still be alive. I thought of different “demotivators” that I could make with such a picture and had a good time, forgetting about the tiresome toil of running.
But on my way back I couldn’t take that picture. There was an old man, a hard-working country man walking towards me. I supposed he thought to himself “What a waste of energy – just to run with no real purpose and no real work being done.” I couldn’t make myself to stop and take pictures of dead snakes. Moreover, I’m the local school psychologist, and in my neck of the woods to a great number of people, especially the older generation that sounds just like “psycho”.
And so I ran home. No records were made, not even tiny personal bests that would earn me a virtual cup at Endomondo. But I decided to take the very fact that I had gone for a run a small personal victory, and one that would also make me change the way I present myself to others. It’s not always about being victorious and better than everyone else. Sometimes it’s good to know others are struggling, too.
So I made a little paper snake and took that photo on the driveway. Just to say: